Evelyn Lux - Romance writer blog

Editing and the tales of Walpurgis

The life of a writer / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

Another peek into a writer’s life.

On Monday this week, April 30, Swedes celebrated Walpurgis. We gathered in crowds at sunset, lighting large fires, singing and watching fireworks. To many Swedes, this has become the symbol of spring – when the fires of Walpurgis’ been lit, spring has officially arrived.

But how did this come to be? Let me give you a short history lesson on one of the strongest Swedish traditions.

It began in the 8th century, in Germany. An abbess named Walpurga was the principal of a convent within the Catholic Church and the legend says she was originally an English princess, called to Germany by her uncle to help convert the Germans to Christianity. In her work, she was known to be particularly skilled at fending off witchcraft. She died in the year of 779 and was declared a saint a hundred years later on May 1, 870. The feast held that day got associated with May Day, especially in Sweden and Finland, and bonfires and dancing became tradition on the eve of May Day to ward off witches.

Another reason behind the festivities dates back to the Middle Ages, when the administrative year ended on April 30. This called for celebrations among merchants and craftsmen, and the eve of the feast was filled with dancing and singing in preparation for spring.

As farmers let out their animals to graze in the early 18th century, they began lighting bonfires to scare off predators. Younger people collected greeneries and branches from the woods and brought it out in the open, lighting it up on high spots.

Nowadays, the bonfires, singing and celebrations on Walpurgis night has become mainly a symbol of spring’s arrival, of light. At least in Sweden. Uppsala and Lund are two cities linked to the largest celebrations, but bonfires and choir singing are found all over Sweden on April 30, even in the smallest villages there are local celebrations.

Standing in front of the massive flames, feeling the heat tingle in your cheeks, joining in with the traditional, old Swedish songs, gives you more than happiness for spring’s arrival. It gives a sense of hope. We all made it through yet another dark and long winter, we came out on the other side, and what lies ahead is nothing but beauty. This might sound dramatic, but anyone who’s ever spent a winter in Scandinavia knows what I’m talking about. M-hm.

Speaking of hope on this gray Swedish Thursday; I’m feeling hopeful about yet another thing this week. I’m editing Kilonova Blues like crazy to get it ready to send out to my beloved beta-readers on June 18. And I actually think I’ll be able to make it. I’ve fallen in love with the story, and my deepest hope and wish is that eventually, you will too.

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Jetlagged and mind-blown

The life of a writer / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

Writing the last blog post, I sat at the airport waiting to check in on my flight bound for Seattle. Writing this post, I’m back in Sweden. Ten days’ passed and in the midst of a heavy jetlag, I’m trying to wrap my head around my experience.

There are three dimensions of this trip, and since I’m feeling completely overwhelmed, I figure the easiest way is to just work them through one by one. Here it goes.

1. The trip was my way of celebrating my 30th birthday.

I’ve always loved to travel, and what better way to celebrate my entrance into this world thirty years ago than doing what makes me feel most alive? Thinking about time and getting older, you can’t escape contemplating what you actually accomplish in life. As days fly by, it’s easy to forget all you actually go through. Turning thirty, I attempted to sum up the past ten years of my life, and looking at the list below I realized the immense growth I’ve made as a person – even though it felt as if the years just flew by. During the past ten years of my life, I have;

Traveled. Egypt, Thailand, Greece, France (seven times), Spain (eight times), Great Britain, USA (three times), Monaco.
Moved. I’ve moved five times, one of them to Gran Canaria (Spain).
Loved. I’ve spent five years single and five years split on two different relationships.
Studied. I’ve gotten myself a BSc. in Political Science and a MSc. in Global Studies.
Worked. I’ve worked with assembling wheelchairs, as a bartender, waitress, credit manager, saleswoman, cashier, environmental coordinator, international project coordinator, project manager, counselor at the Red Cross and with housing support at the Salvation Army.

People have gone in and out of my life, teaching me things both about myself, other people and life in general. I’ve lost people who I thought would always be there, and I’ve gotten to know people who’s stood by me when the sea was at its roughest.

The core of what I’ve come to learn so far is that change is the only constant, and the more you fight it, the more unhappy you will feel. Life is scary but it’s also magical. Reflecting on the past ten years, I get humbled by the endless possibilities and yet unknown turns my life will take in the next ten to come.

2. I’ve had a faraway crush on Seattle and the Olympic Peninsula.

I wanted to experience the area and boy – did I experience the area. In ten days, this is what we managed to check off the list:

Line dancing at the country bar Little Red Hen.
Jogging along the Elliott Bay Trail.
Lunch at the Goldfinch Tavern (book detail).
The Elliott Bay Book Company.
The Nest (rooftop bar at the Thompson Hotel overlooking Elliott Bay).
University of Washington.
Kerry Park.
The Amazon Spheres.
Italian food and live jazz music at Vito’s.
Staying at Hotel Sorrento (book detail).
Tasting and tour at the Bainbridge Organic Distillers, Bainbridge Island.
The Nordic Heritage Museum (book detail).
The fish ladder at the Ballard Locks in the Scandinavian neighborhood Ballard, Seattle.
Salsa at Century Ballroom.
Gambling (and winning 200 bucks) at the Quinault Beach Resort.
Ocean Shores.
Quinault Rain Forest.
Ruby Beach.
Forks.
Port Angeles.

Besides experiencing all these amazing places, we’ve met so many humble, kind and funny people. Our Scandinavian spirits had no problem connecting with people through the alleged Seattle Freeze, it might actually have been the reason we felt right at home.

All the mouthwatering food, countless pints of beer and Gin & Tonics were just icing on the cake.

3. The better part of my paranormal romance novel Kilonova Blues takes place in Seattle.

Coming to Seattle for the first time, I had a number of places I needed to go to verify the feeling I’m trying to convey in Kilonova Blues. There’s an important scene at the Goldfinch Tavern; the Nordic Heritage Museum’s important in regards to Alexandra Johnson’s reason for being in the city; Alexandra stays at Hotel Sorrento; I already knew the location of Marcus Meyers’ apartment which I had to check out in reality, and so on.

The funny thing with us writers is that our imagination is so alive and vivid that sometimes it’s difficult to separate the real world from what plays out in our heads. Needless to say, I had to look over my shoulder more than once attempting to catch a glimpse of Marcus…

All in all, Seattle and its surroundings blew my mind. I’m overwhelmed and struggle to digest and sort all impressions. One thing I can say for sure – Seattle, I’ll be back.

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Seattle and turning thirty

The life of a writer / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

Writing this post, it’s two o’clock Monday morning in Scandinavia, and I’m sitting at the airport waiting to check in.

Nine years ago, I sat through the night at the very same airport, waiting for a flight to New York, and worked some time away by watching Twilight for the very first time. I remember sitting crawled up in a corner, mesmerized by Bella and Edward’s strange love story, and I couldn’t decide whether I thought the movie was crap or fantastic – but I fell in love with the story.

After watching the movie, my mind ate the books like cotton candy. I just couldn’t put them down. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since then, but strangely, I fell in love with yet another story not too long ago; that of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. What was strange was that these two stories both played out in northwest Washington; Forks and Seattle. Something about that area felt magic to me, and when I began writing Kilonova Blues I just knew that Marcus Meyers had to come from Seattle. When I discovered the Nordic Heritage Museum (covering the Scandinavian emigration to the U.S. during the 19th century) was located in Seattle, I knew why Alexandra Johnson had to go there.

Writing Kilonova Blues, I’ve spent a lot of time in Seattle over the last year, but apart from Google Street View, I’ve never actually been there.

This week I’m turning thirty, so I figured that reason is as good as any to make it happen. So at the moment, I’m counting the hours to get my butt on that flight and see if my love for the Emerald City is real or only a product of my imagination.

And the best part of it all? In a couple of days, my brother’s joining me.

I’m ready to get Seattleited. Bring it on

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Steamy scenes and cheat days

The life of a writer, Writing tips / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

How do you get in the right mindset for writing or editing steamy scenes? Mine is spelled WINE and NUTELLA.

Can not get enough.

Most of you will gasp in horror and shake your head at my ignorance, but I do actually prefer a glass of cold, crispy white wine over that favorite rich red one of yours. I need to grow up, I know, but I’m not turning thirty until next week so give me a break and let me stall it for a little while longer.

My current favorite is the organic “Crudo” from Sicily (Italy). The taste’s described as “fruity, youthful, flowery with slight sweetness, notes of pear, peach, mandarin, honeydew melon and elder berry”. As you can see – a complete winner (for your tastebuds, not your editor).

I’ve mentioned in an earlier blog post that one of my best tips for writing steamy scenes is to become the characters, to feel what they feel (check it out here). I’ve also suggested that you throw all thoughts of who’s going to read what you’re writing straight out the window. Thinking about your mother-in-law will kill your creative process. No, in a matter of fact, it’ll slaughter it, cut it to pieces and feed it to the pigs. You get what I’m trying to say.

Become the characters. Period.

But I do have a few other suggestions:

Do have some wine. It’s Monday afternoon, so what? At one time in history, someone joked “write drunk, edit sober” (often wrongly cited to Hemingway; he was known to have a drink or two, but no researchers have ever found him writing or saying this), but there’s some wisdom to it. If your mind’s spinning with everyday tasks, children, finances, relationships etc., it can be difficult to tune in to that more sensual side. Apart from that it’s so darned delicious, a glass of wine can also help you relax a bit and ease you into that sensuality.
Snack it up! Sure, we want to be healthy and get all of that right nutrition and everything, but while you’re having a glass of wine anyway – why not pair it with your favorite snack? Mine happen to be as sinful as Nutella, but I don’t know, for someone it might be a piece of celery……..
Music, people. Music. Let me share what’s on in the background as I’m setting my mind right for the task:
TiO – ZAYN
I Got You (I Feel Good) – Jessie J
Dusk till Dawn (Luca Lush Remix) – ZAYN
I Put a Spell on You (Fifty Shades of Grey) – Annie Lennox
Ride (feat. Macy Maloy) – Chase Rice
Te Siento – Wisin & Yandel
Bad Things – Machine Gun Kelly
Strip it Down – Luke Bryan
Slow Hands – Niall Horan
All Night Long – Gabriel Antonio

Good luck – and keep it steamy.

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Weekdays and Writing Routine

Writing tips / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

What does a writer have to do to get work done?

Well, I’d say the answer to that question highly varies depending on who you ask. Most people would simply say WRITE.

And I agree.

But you know how your bicycle runs so much easier after you’ve pumped new air into the tires? Low air pressure can cause flats and damage both the tires and rims, not to mention how it slows you down and forces you to pedal so much harder.

After being close to hit the wall on two occasions within four years, I’ve been forced to find a routine which includes small breaks, the right nutrition and time to refuel my soul. Of course, this is so much easier now as I’m writing full time and can plan my days as I see fit, but with small adjustments, I’m sure it could work just about anywhere.

There are five cornerstones to my writing routine which helps keep my brain, body and soul on track:

Good food
Writing
Scheduled breaks
Physical exercise
Rest

Let’s start with the food.

I start every day with a glass of lukewarm lemon/ginger water. Why? I want to stay healthy and keep the colds off. Ginger suppresses inflammation and lemon boosts the immune system. Why lukewarm? It’s kinder to the stomach. Our body enzymes work best at a temperature of 37–42⁰C, and when we drink cold water, the process of warming up the cold liquid uses unnecessary energy.
.
A light breakfast’s accompanied with a maximum of two cups of coffee (that’s IT for the day – we don’t want too much of that caffeine) and some vitamins. Which vitamins you take should be based on what your body lacks. What nutrition do you get through your food? What do YOU eat? Always look at the food first and see if there’s a way to change that before taking extra vitamins.
.
– I’m taking Omega-3. Why? I hardly eat any fish, I don’t like it, and I need that fat. The membrane surrounding the braincells use it to make connections between braincells as smooth as possible. With bad connection, it’s harder for us to remember stuff. A deficit of Omega-3 forces the brain to use other fats, lowering the brain’s overall performance. And you wouldn’t want that now, would you writer?- I’m also taking Zink. Why? Zink is an antagonist to cortisol (known as the stress hormone). Cortisol is naturally high in the mornings, which by the way is why you don’t want to exercise this time of day and trigger the exudation even more. High levels of cortisol during a long period of time is one big, physical factor for people crashing into that famous wall.- D-vitamin. YES! Do you know how little the sun is shining in Sweden? And that even when it shines, we’re so far away from it that it’s almost impossible for our skin to produce D-vitamin? We do get enough sun during the summer months, but even though the body stores D-vitamin, our stocks are usually empty right before Christmas.
But why do we need it? It’s easier to say why we don’t need it – there is no reason why we don’t need it. It does everything from strengthening the skeleton and teeth to helping us avoid depression. Aim for at least 50 μg per day, even if most public recommendations are considerably lower.

– B-vitamins. Why? A deficit of B-vitamins can cause memory disturbances and depression. Especially important for your mood is B6.

– Magnesium. Why? It’s a mineral that fights inflammation in your body, and studies have found there’s a correlation between inflammation and depression. It also helps the muscles relax and assists a good sleep, which is why I take it right before bed in the evening.
I eat six times a day. Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. HEALTHY SNACKS (smoothies, carrots, crispbread). Lunch and dinner are often different lentil soups or variations of woks on quorn or oumph.

Let me hand you the recipe of my favorite smoothie, packed with energy and good nutrition. Easy as a pancake and quick to make.

1 ripe avocado

3 dl pomegranate juice

1 teaspoon of honey

1 teaspoon of chia seeds

1 dl frozen berries (such as blueberries or raspberries)

Moving on to writing. When I write, I write. Simple as that. I’m completely focused on the task ahead of me.

Next, scheduled breaks. I begin working at 9 in the morning. My first 15 minute break comes at 10:30 (then I make the lovely smoothie above!). Lunch at 13:00 (roughly 30 minutes). Next 15 minute break at 15:30. At 18:00 I wrap it up for the day. Errrrrdamnday from Monday-Friday.

Physical exercise! Yes! I jog four times a week, 3-6 km depending on the mood. I need this. Everybody needs this. Maybe not jogging, but anything which gets the blood pumping FOR ANOTHER REASON THAN THOSE STEAMY SCENES YOU’RE WRITING. Just saying.

The final part of my writing routine is REST. I don’t write on the weekends. Saturdays and Sundays are days off for me. Well, to tell the truth my mind is spinning with ideas and things I need to do anyway, but I stay away from the computer. I try to focus on other stuff, experiencing life in all its simplicity and wonders, to gather inspiration and plant seeds for next week’s work. I’m also strict on sleeping eight hours per night. Any less leaves my head like a mushroom for the entire next day.

Oh my God this girl has such a boring life, can she even write romance? If this thought’s popped up in your mind, I invite you to take a closer look at Kilonova Blues eventually, and see for yourself… 😉

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Filter words and the Chinese bamboo

Writing tips / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

WHEN is spring coming?! I’m probably not the only one going crazy waiting for winter to fade away. My writing company for the day are the lovely flowers in the pictures below; winter outside, spring inside. That’ll suffice for now.

Since English isn’t my first language, I occasionally get stuck on things Google can’t help me wrap my head around. This happened the other day, so I turned to one of the writers groups on Facebook (thank heavens they exist) with the following question;

Help!

“His words sound electric”

or

“His words sound electrical”?

Oh, how I love when you get answers you didn’t know you were looking for. Everyone advised me to go with electric, but one particular soul was kind enough to enlighten me that the word “sound” is what’s called a “filter word”, and she recommended me to get rid of it.

Hm, a “filter word”? I had never heard of it. So I turned my attention back to Google to fill the knowledge gap. After bumping in and out of some websites I’d gotten the message clear:

A filter word is a word which distances the reader from the experience. By using a filter word, you make the reader a passive viewer of what the character’s feeling, and weaken the reader’s engagement with the text.

“Shit! This needs out!” That was my first thought. My second thought was; “Which words are filter words?” Let me enlighten you the way I was (even though I reckon many of you fellow writers already know this by heart):

can
to see
to hear
to think
to touch
to wonder
to realize
to watch
to look
to seem
to feel (or feel like)
to decide
to sound (or sound like)
to notice
to be able to
to note
to experience
to remember

With a surrendering, nervous laugh (wish I could insert a GIF right here), I came to the realization that my revision phase just got extended at least another four to six weeks. I’ll have to do a whole round only focusing on replacing filter words, strengthening the text. To my grateful relief, I’ve been doing this unconsciously up till now as well, but there sure are more work to be done.

Do you know of more filter words? Let me know in the comments here or on Instagram.

But hey, we learn as long as we live and at the end of the day, it’ll be all worth it! Keep getting at it, whatever you’re struggling with right now. Think of yourself as a Chinese Bamboo Tree (Google it and read about how it grows) – one day you’ll shoot your sprouts towards the sky and nothing’ll stop you.

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Writing and crushes

Paranormal romance novels / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

Is it just me, or do the weeks just fly by? It seems like there are only Mondays and Fridays, and we’re already at the end of March. It feels like it was only a couple of weeks ago I built the website and launched my social media platforms, but that was way back in January. I guess that’s a sign I’m doing something I really love, and I’m both happy and grateful for having connected with so many talented, hardworking people. Thank you for all your input, whatever form they take!

I’m still revising the first draft of Kilonova Blues, and I’ve worked my way through chapter ten this week. Only eight more to go! I didn’t think I’d enjoy this part of the writing process as much as I actually do, but the feeling of rereading an edited chapter and seeing the progress is so fulfilling. Even if I’m not even through the first round yet, I can’t wait to get back and start all over with the ever-growing list of things to look at that I wrote about in my last blogpost. And don’t even get me started with the excitement I feel regarding working with beta readers further down the line, and see the manuscript evolve even more!

I feel like I’m still in the crush-phase with writing, you know that first phase when you date someone, and everything’s just shimmering and breathtaking? We’ve been in this phase for almost a year now, and scientists say it usually lasts up to six months, so I’d say writing and I have a very promising future ahead of us. I know there’ll be bumps and challenges along the road that we’ll need to overcome, but for now, we just go with the flow and let our worlds revolve around that tingly sensation that makes everything sparkle.

Let me give you a taste of a dialogue between Alexandra and Marcus in chapter ten:

“Don’t ask me how or why, but there must be a reason we met. I feel the same strong force pulling us together as you do. Why do we fight it?”

“You know why”, he dismisses in a stern voice.

I close my eyes and shake my head, feeling the previous strong conviction returning to me. “No, Marcus. It’s not right. I’m not afraid of you.”

“I could destroy you”, he insists.

“No, not without my permission. I’m the only one who can destroy me. Depending on who I choose to engage with, everyone has the possibility to destroy me. My life is not your responsibility. I am responsible for my life and the decisions I make.”

I wish you all a wonderful weekend! Don’t forget to rest. Even the happiest relationships benefit by creating some space to miss each other from time to time

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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Perseverance and revision strategy

The life of a writer / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

It’s #writerswednesday and March 14th. Today I’m wrapping up revising chapter seven of my paranormal romance novel Kilonova Blues. As I’ve mentioned earlier, my naïvety knew no boundaries when I sat down to schedule my work this spring. I estimated to spend one day per chapter for the first revision round, but boy, was I mistaken.

I’m still revising at the same slow, steady pace in which I set off with the first chapter, meaning I’m working through two chapters a week. With the first draft of the book coming in at 18 chapters, that means I’ve still got five weeks to go before the second draft’s finished. Instead of three to four weeks, I’ll end up spending roughly nine weeks in total on this part of the process. Deep breaths Aries, deep breaths… It’ll be worth it.
Since my 30th birthday’s coming up this spring as well, it’ll probably come in at ten or eleven weeks, ’cause I got myself a little trip to celebrate the occasion. 😉 I’ll tell you more about that later on.

So, how have I structured the work of revising the text? Well, for this first round, I’ve just decided to focus on rewriting everything that strikes me as too simply phrased. I try to glue the story together, make sure everything make sense, add to the story where the context seems to thin. I’m basically working through the body of the text. The key of my strategy is to focus on one thing at a time, at least this early in the process. Otherwise it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

While I work, I take notes on what I need to focus on for the next round (or the round after that, or the one after that…). So far, this is what I’ve found I need to work through:

Strike out as many adjectives and adverbs as possible – show, don’t tell
Check consistency for dates and time
Check accurate use of ´ vs. ‘
Check consistency for dialogue and quotes
How often do I use the phrase “a wide smile” – eventually replace?
How often do I use the phrase “a wry smile” – eventually replace?
How often do I use the word “gaze” – eventually replace?
Check “toward” vs. “towards”
Do I really like “eyes pop wide open”? How can I rephrase this surprised facial expression?
Check accurate use of “spark” vs. “sparkle”
“Ok” or “Okay” – choose which one
Check the phrasing of “with a (certain) tone of voice” vs. “in a (certain) tone of voice”

And I guess the list will continue to expand since I’m only half way through the first draft. As you can see, over the last couple of months, I’ve learned what every writer knows but all non-writers have no idea about – it takes time and a great dose of perseverance to write a GOOD book! Not to mention strong character and a considerable amount of self-confidence.

Visualization’s become my best friend, and when I’m not working, you’ll find me either meditating or Googling “kilonovas” or “blue eyes” for book cover inspiration! Some days, when I really get in the mood, I even Google which actors to cast for the movie…

Tomorrow’s an exciting day; I’ll be sharing the first quote from the book on Instagram. I’m beginning to get really excited to let you guys in on reading some chapters as well, it’ll most likely be posted on the blog sometime in May – keep your eyes open!

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

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I know of a woman…

The life of a writer / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

International Women’s Day. A day for celebrating the female sex or an opportunity to highlight structural issues causing gender inequality? Let me explain why I am rooting for the latter.

I live in Sweden. According to the 2017 Global Gender Gap Report conducted by the World Economic Forum, Sweden is the fifth best country to live in when it comes to gender equality (http://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2017/). On the top positions we find our beloved Nordic neighbors; Iceland, Norway and Finland, accompanied by Rwanda coming in as number four.

This report has come out annually since 2006, and the World Economic Forum has used the same indexes and indicators since, taking the following into account:

Economic participation and opportunity
– Basically, they look into how many men and women are active in the labor market; how much the sexes earn; income equality for similar work; and how many men vs. women can be found in advanced positions.
Educational attainment
– How many men and women can be found in the educational system; male vs. female literacy.
Health and survival
– Here, they look into how many newborn girls “go missing” after birth (since the baby didn’t turn out to be a boy), as well as how many years men vs. women can expect to live in good health.
Political empowerment
– They measure the gap between the number of men vs. women who are found at the highest level of political decision-making.

I would argue these indicators makes a solid foundation for a report like this. Can you imagine that these global data are even possible to collect? Imagine all the work behind putting together a report like this. And they do it annually! I am truly, from the bottom of my heart, both impressed and grateful that reports like this exist. It is so much more than we could have even hoped for only some twenty years ago. It is a very powerful tool to unmask and illuminate the varying conditions across the globe to which women have to adjust. However, I can not enough stress that it is just that. A very powerful tool.

A. Very. Powerful. Tool.

A. Tool.

One.

You see, I have some issues with this. Not the very reports, no. We need them. But with the way they are used as a bat in the discussion of gender equality. Yes, Sweden is top five when it comes to gender equality, resulting from the methodology used in this particular report. But the very existence of this report does not say that there are no other indicators. Not once does the report claim to be all-encompassing when it comes to describing the situation for women in the world. Rather the opposite. Let me display this with a quote from its’ methodology description:

The third distinguishing feature of the Global Gender Gap Index is that it ranks countries according to their proximity to gender equality rather than to women’s empowerment. Our aim is to focus on whether the gap between women and men in the chosen indicators has declined, rather than whether women are winning the so-called “battle of the sexes”.

World Economic Forum
(http://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2017/
measuring-the-global-gender-gap/)

So, what do I mean when I say that reports like this are “used as a bat in the discussion of gender equality”? Let me tell you. When I as a woman, speak up about gender inequality in Sweden, I get to hear things like; “Why are you complaining? Sweden is one of the top five countries in the world when it comes to gender equality. You’re basically living in one of the best countries on earth for a woman.” Do you see what this does? It uses the results of the report against me. As if I should be happy, content, grateful even. Because “it could be so much worse”. It ends up being a tool to take away my power, my speech, my voice.

What people need to understand is something that the World Economic Forum already knows; that their results does not focus on women’s empowerment. Just because Sweden is in the top five on lists of gender equality, that does not mean that the women living in Sweden are equal to the men living in Sweden. How can I be so sure of this? Well…

…I know of a woman who broke up with her boyfriend who’d been calculatingly cheating on her for years. She ended up being stalked by him.

…I know of another woman who was locked out of her home, naked, left to lie shivering in shame crawled up right outside her own front door.

…I know of another woman who was beaten so badly that the bones in her body cracked, leaving her in the hospital for days, lying to her family that she had been clumsy and fallen down the stairs.

…I know of another woman who was raped by a police student, a man in training to protect society from the very likes of himself.

…I know of another woman who was sexually abused as a child by her uncle.

…I know of another woman who discovered that all the men at her department earned more than 5 000 USD/month. About half of the workforce consisted of women, performing same work as their male co-workers. Every single woman earned below that figure.

…I know of countless other women who daily have the main responsibility for household chores, project managing their own homes and families, without being paid a single dime. If they are lucky, their men will “help”. When being asked.

I know of all of these women. They, in turn, know of just as many. Who in turn, know of just as many. These stories does not show in reports like the 2017 Global Gender Gap Report. They are shown in the Me Too-movement. They are shown in trusted conversations. They are shown in books, music and theatre.

We change the world by trusting each other, listening to each other, supporting each other. If you have not thought in these terms before, please be humble enough to admit to yourself you have been part of the problem, even if you can not clearly see it. Assume you have been part of the problem, and decide today to do something actively to ensure you are being part of the solution instead.
Even if it is just to unfollow Dan Bilzerian.

Do not make this day an opportunity to buy flower to your woman. Do not say “congratulations” or “happy international women’s day”. Why? Because it means nothing in changing the reality women face 365 days a year. Appreciate the females in your life not more today than you are man enough to do any other day. By all means, appreciate her if you want, but do not fool yourself to think you have done your part for the day by doing just that. I want to challenge you to do something different today, something genuine:

Call, write or visit a woman in your life that is close to you, let it be a sister, mother, girlfriend, wife, niece, cousin, friend – and say to her: I acknowledge your struggle. I am in awe of the strength in which you lead your life as a woman. What can I do to assist you or support you? How can I be a tool for our joint cause to empower women and reach gender equality?

Commit yourself to, that from today, do your part.

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

I know of a woman… Read More »

Heritage and vision

The life of a writer / Leave a Comment / By evelynlux

I was born in the barren landscape of Småland, located in the southern part of Sweden. The harsh conditions of the region are what made a couple of hundred thousand people leave in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, hoping to build a better future for themselves in the promising land of America.

I grew up on the countryside, a few miles away from the birthplace of IKEA. My mother’s dad was a carpenter and my father’s dad a farmer, men of their time with little insights into the emotional or spiritual realms of their lives. What mattered was only how hard you were able to work. Both my grandmothers were soft, gentle souls, yet super women made of steel. They were thrown into a world where all they could do was to adjust, and love just as hard as their husbands worked.

In his youth, about the same time as his peer Ingvar Kamprad began building IKEA, my mother’s father travelled to the U.S. to visit his cousin. He ended up spending some time over there, practicing his craft while building American skyscrapers and fell in love with an American woman. Little could he do when he was called in to fight the Koreans, but to get on the next boat back to Sweden. Lucky for me, because the first weekend after his return, he met my grandmother at a dance and the rest is history.

I took my first job as a swimming teacher when I was 14. During high school, I also tried out customer support and the local post office. After graduation, I got my first real employment assembling wheel chairs, serving merely as financial stability while I was trying to figure out what to do with my life.

The never ending burning world around us bothered me deeply, and the small-minded political views surrounding me at the factory eventually forced me out of there, even though I had no idea what to do next. I booked a ticket for New York to study English. I left with an urge to just switch environment, but when I came back a month later I felt more vibrantly alive than I’d ever been. I ended up booking a three-week bartender course to Gran Canaria, Spain. Three weeks turned into six months and there I met one of my best friends, whose son I’m now the godmother to. The modest 30 euros I earned per night behind the bar has never bothered me as I think of everything else I won during those months.

In Spain, I realized I need to do something to make this world we live in a better place. I returned to Sweden, worked up some money as a credit manager during summer, and began studying political science. How could I change the world if I didn’t understand the forces forming it right now? During my studies, I engaged in refugee consultations at the Red Cross, and after my bachelor’s degree I began working with environmental issues at the local municipality. But I wanted to do more. Have bigger impact. I went back to the university and took my master’s in global studies. Then I worked with local authorities to shorten the road for refugees to the Swedish labour market; I worked at a home for refugee children coming to the country without their families; I worked as manager for a project aiming to create understanding and build relationships between Swedish-born and refugee teenagers. But still, I want to do more. Have bigger impact.

My passion for writing is a whole other chapter. In my writing I can express myself as a woman, analyze relationships, explore factors for personal development and growth, live out conflicts and contradictions. It’s a creative sphere where I can be free and lift the heavy burden of trying to change the world off my shoulders for a while. In my writing I’m free to play, free to find the way back to my inner child who doesn’t care about nothing else than to explore, enjoy and laugh. Right now, I’m indulging myself completely in the bubble of being a full-time romance writer.

My clearest vision and deepest wish for the future is to combine these two sides of my life and personality. To be able to use my playful soul in building a platform as a writer, which in the long run can assist my more serious mind when it comes to changing this world for the better.

I welcome you all to follow me on this journey!

That’s all for now,
hej så länge!

Heritage and vision Read More »

Editing and the tales of Walpurgis

Jetlagged and mind-blown

Seattle and turning thirty

Steamy scenes and cheat days

Weekdays and Writing Routine

Filter words and the Chinese bamboo

Writing and crushes

Perseverance and revision strategy

I know of a woman…

Heritage and vision

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